Identity
by EmpyrealFantasy
Summary: [SanzoGoku][oneshot] PostJourney. Sanzo hits a little too close to home with his insults and causes Goku to decide to leave his sun behind. What will happen when they meet again years later? «Been done before, but I think I did something originalish»


-1

Disclaimer: Not a bit of ownedge here. I own my laptop, which is currently out of commission. I own my notebook which I wrote this story into in lieu of my laptop being accessible. I own...uhh...Shouten. XD And yeah!

Lame title. Any better suggestions?

----------

**Identity**

----------

"BAKAZARU!" Sanzo's usually deep voice screeched off the temple walls, causing Goku to gulp and listen to his instincts - he ran.

The foursome had returned from the West via flying dragon less than a month prior. They had been in time to prevent the resurrection of the giant youkai Gyumaoh, but had had to battle an army of disgusting lab-created beasts and youkai alike. If it had not been for the last minute betrayal of the Kougaiji-tachi, the Sanzo-ikkou likely would not have survived.

In the end, it seemed the mastermind behind it all had been a human...a Doctor Nii Jenyi...or as he had once been known, Ukoku Sanzo. Their own Sanzo had been shocked and infuriated to find out that it had been one of his Master's closest friends to betray him. But, genius or not, he had still been only human - it had actually been Lirin to finish him off, of all people.

Goku was thankful that they had gotten away with their lives intact. There had been several injuries, some still not totally memories, but more or less they had walked away without permanent damage. Despite his thankfulness, he had found that since the return he felt...useless.

He had changed very little in the two year journey, just an extra two inches in height, broadness to his shoulders, and muscle mass and definition...but inside he felt much more his age than he ever had. He still found the most entertainment in ticking off the kappa and devouring everything in sight, but he found the pointless days at Chang'an left him antsy and itching for something, _anything_ to do. He had decided to stay near to his sun rather than taking up residence in the village with Gojyo and Hakkai, but had second guessed that decision every day.

On the journey, he had fought. It was what he was best at - kicking the crap out of his enemies. But with the destruction of the Minus Wave, other than a small number of youkai whose brains were too addled to be sane again, there was no need for a fighter at the temple. Scriptures or no.

Before the journey he had been perfectly content to annoy the monks, eat, and play in the courtyards all day. He had had Sanzo nearby to make him feel safe and hadn't a worry or care in the world. It seemed like ages between then and now. He knew his presence in the temple only caused more trouble for Sanzo...so why was he here?

But every time the idea of leaving crossed his mind, he balked. How could he really leave his guardian? He had revolved around Sanzo for the last eight years, he was his savior, his light. Could he even contemplate a life away from him?

Which brought him to now. He was a twenty year old man cowering in a shadowed corner in fear of his master. He had been walking through the gardens thinking about what to do with his life when he's spied a yellow bird amongst the ordinary ones in the high branches of a tree. The sight had sent tremors through him and he had barely resisted the urge to scream out at the bird that transported him so many years into the past. Narrowly staving off a panic attack, he finally managed to smile, realizing he was not in his cage anymore -- he had his sun, and he could reach _this_ bird.

So he had climbed towards it. He had just wanted to see the bird a little closer, perhaps be able to touch it - just because he could. The loss of his small friend had haunted him in so many nightmares, had been the crux of his fears for so may years. So he had leapt from branch to branch.

As he had lost his balance on a thin, high branch, his only thought had been, 'Shit, Sanzo's gonna kill me.' And when he had impacted and subsequently knocked all the 'holy' peaches from their branches... 'Yeah... I'm totally dead.'

He was still sore from the impact and his head hurt kinda bad, but he knew it was nothing compared to if Sanzo caught him while the perceived slight was still fresh. So he ran and avoided and...

"_There_ you are, you stupid brat!"

Well, shit.

Sanzo was charging down the hallway toward him, and Goku knew the fight was over. He had no choice now but to stand there and take it like a man.

But damn did that little paper fan hurt. He was rather sure it was not paper at all, just made to look that way. Maybe it was some kind of metal _surrounded by_ paper.

The harisen impacted over and over and over again, making the young man screech in pain and try his best to cover his head. His previous headache was becoming more exponentially worse with every strike, and Sanzo was just getting into the groove. Every word he spoke was punctuated with another smack.

"You fucking idiot monkey! How retarded can you possibly be? I am so sick of cleaning up your messes, you dumb little shit! Can't you do things like normal people instead of giving me _more_ shit to deal with, you useless son of a bitch?"

"I-I'm sorry, Sanzo! It was just an accident..." Goku tried interrupting the blond's angry rant, rambling on to cover his flinch from the blond's last harsh words.

"I don't give a fuck if it was or not! In fact, I don't give a fuck about _you_! Why are you still here anyway? You aren't a kid, and you have no fucking point here...why don't you go bug the kappa? I did my job, you're grown, now get the fuck out of my sight!"

Watering golden eyes locked with icy violet, but Goku refused to cry. Not this time. He had heard these insults so many time before...except this time, he knew they were true. He knew he only gave his sun trouble, he knew he was a burden and made messes for others to clean up (both literal and metaphorical). He really didn't mean to, he just _did._ But, there was nothing he could do now. There was no place for him beside the blond anymore.

Without another word, Goku swallowed his tears and bowed low at the waist before darting away and out of Sanzo's life.

--

_Tap, tap, tap._

Kougaiji tapped his claws against the table, rather impatiently waiting for his fifth General to arrive.

_Tap, tap, tap._

It had been four long years since the elimination of the Minus Wave, and only now was his kingdom finally finding order. In sanity, the youkai had gone without leadership for several centuries, and had created their own hierarchy to go by. But, with their lost Prince awakened, many had been happy to have a rightful ruler once more.

_Tap, tap, tap._

But not all of them. There had been groups, both sane and insane, who believed he was not powerful enough to rule them, that his position was undeserved or that he was a fraud. And from those groups came opposition, often crafty and underhanded, trying to take the throne by force.

_Tap, tap, tap._

But now that they had eliminated the last of the power hungry and insane factions that had been substantial enough to be a threat, life for the Prince-turned-King could finally be somewhat peaceful. Kougaiji was not a naive man, and he had no sugarcoated beliefs of the near future. He was aware that there would always be struggle, always be opposition to his rule, but finally he felt he had caught up with the whirlwind of the previous years. With the Minus Wave and all its complications, the youkai world had been in turmoil. Even now, there was much to be done about the human-youkai relations...and finally those movements could really begin.

_Tap, tap, tap._

His wife, and now Tactician rather than General due to her pregnancy, sat to his left, her eyes far-off as she was lulled by the steady rhythm of her husband's claws. Yaone had finally overcome her shy demeanor around him after he had asked for her hand several years prior, but they were just now able to start their family. Dokugakuji was on her other side, his righthand man and lead General. The proud swordsmen had refused to leave Kougaiji after Houtou's fall, refusing any argument to the contrary. Kougaiji was grateful that his closest friend had stayed, though, no matter how much more the redhead believed he deserved in life.

_Tap, tap, tap._

Sora was beside Dokugakuji, a blue haired youkai woman who was widely feared for her ruthlessness in battle and out. She had been the previous head of the castle they were now based in in the central most area of Togenkyo, but had offered her men and her allegiance to the rightful heir to the youkai throne. On the other side of the table, across from Sora, sat the silver hair and eyed youkai Shouten. Though usually lighthearted and playful, the man was unmatched in his tactical and observational abilities and inspired great loyalty in his men. The last youkai was a hulking man named Lo Kwan, one of the few higher ranking officers from before Gyokumen Koushu's fall. He had refused orders and abandoned the fight for Houtou, refusing to go against his Prince when the Kougaiji-tachi had absconded.

_Tap, tap, tap._

On Kougaiji's right was an empty chair that was supposed to be occupied by his usual punctual final General and close friend. The tardy General was late for the first time since his failed relationship with Shouten that had occasionally made the two stumble in, disheveled, babbling out apologies. And even that Kougaiji had chalked up to Shouten's bad influence, and though he knew the two had slept together since their breakup, Shouten was present.

_Tap, tap, t--_

With a bang, the meeting room door smashed open, a blur of bronze and brown hurtling into the empty chair. With a sheepish smile that exposed his fangs, the young almost-youkai ducked his head, "Gomen, Kou! Li-chan wanted me to check out a disturbance off the gardens. It turned out to only be a bear, so don't worry or anything, but it took a bit to figure out and..."

Kougaiji cut off the younger man's babbling with a raised hand, "It's fine, Goku, you're usually on time."

The heretic grinned thankfully and the meeting finally got down to business. As always in their weekly meetings, each General reported any rumors that had come in. Anything deemed a threat was dealt with the next day, leaving the rest of the week free for planning and training of their numerous troops. Goku paid attention completely during the reports, filing away the information for later.

He heard several snippets of information that lead him to believe his own information was going to need immediate action - a fast rising, sane, intelligent faction had sprung up. They seemed to be gathering support quickly, which was never a good thing, if what he was surmising from the other reports was correct. He scratched his head around his now delicate-looking limiter, displacing some of his long hair.

Not long after his recruitment by Kougaiji, the two had had several meetings with the Merciful Goddess to discuss the itan's coronet. Kougaiji was worried about the younger man's reception if he retained a human-esque form and also about the loss of power Goku had to deal with between forms.

It had taken several failed attempts with both Kougaiji and Kanzeon on hand to detain the almost-god before they had been able to fashion something suitable, but their efforts had borne fruit. The thin band of gold now only contained the blood-lust and insanity that Seiten Taisei had been stricken with from its long imprisonment, but allowed Goku to retain his true strength, traits, and abilities.

Leadership had been extraordinarily positive on the brunet, bringing out qualities that he had never had a reason or will to show prior to being taken under Kougaiji's wing. He had a confidence and air about him now that commanded attention and respect, and his men were loyal to a fault.

"My men had gotten word of a rebel group to the east terrorizing human settlements there. It's probably the one that's been pressuring a lot of the groups you all were speaking of. They don't seen to be of the insane variety, but they should probably be taken out before they gain enough support to be an issue," Goku said promptly once it was his turn.

"Hmm," the newly crowned King intoned thoughtfully, "I agree. Pick a group of men and leave first thing..."

The heretic cut in with a look that bordered on panicked, "I'd really rather not, Kou, maybe someone else could?"

Kougaiji observed his friend fidgeting in his seat for several minutes before realization dawned on him. He frowned, "How close it this to Chang'an?"

Golden eyes slid shut defeatedly, "Close enough."

The royal youkai turned serious violet eyes on the youngest of his Generals, "You will have to face him someday, Goku, and I will not have a coward in my ranks. There is little chance of seeing him at all, and therefore you _will_ be going there. I won't let you run from your problems."

The younger youkai looked up with betrayal in his eyes, but was met with compassionate violet. Kougaiji knew better than anyone the turmoil this mission would bring to his friend - after all, it had been Kou himself to force Goku to admit he was in love with his former guardian. But the Prince-turned-King also knew that this was something that needed confronting - even if it lost him his most powerful General.

"I'm _so_ going," Shouten took the opportunity to cut in, smirking at his ex-lover.

"T-That's okay, Shou-kun, you _really_ don't have to."

Silver clashed with gold in a silent battle, "No, but I want to. There's a chance of meeting the illustrious Sanzo I have heard so _very_ much about..."

Goku glared.

Shouten just laughed, "So, I'm going. I'd like to see what I was dumped for, after all."

Now Goku turned pink, trying to ignore the amused and annoyed (in Sora's case) looks he was receiving from the table's other occupants. Dokugakuji and Yaone were especially amused at their friends' expense, having actually met the hot-tempered blond.

Kougaiji cleared his throat and attempted to regain order, "Lo Kwan, what have you heard?"

--

Sanzo was annoyed. The monk quickly disposed of the disappointingly badly trained scout group and reloaded his shoureju, scowling at the ground angrily. The damned floating heads had sent him out to put a wrench in a group of youkai that had been terrorizing nearby towns, but these were not the insane variety of dolts that Sanzo had been accustomed to facing over the last half a decade. No, these were a bunch of morons trying to gain power.

He clicked the chamber shut and continued his hunt; this had been the second group he'd taken out and he was sure he would come across a stronghold soon enough. He finally advanced on a clearing that had several dozen youkai, fully equipped with weaponry, and was thankful he was upwind. Perhaps he should go back and enlist the kappa and Hakkai for this...

The ruckus started immediately following this thought, breaking Sanzo's reverie. He stayed in the shadows of the thick foliage he was surrounded in and watched a dozen youkai literally drop from the sky. But, seeing the familiar flying dragons, it was not such a feat.

Sanzo, though, lost his grip on his gun in shock when he spied one of the soldiers.

He nearly had a heart attack when he saw Seiten Taisei join in the fight, a grin on his lips, but then he noticed Nyoi-bou grasped in his hand. As far as he was aware, the bestial side of his former charge didn't have the mental capacity to summon the weapon. He watched in shock as this strange semblance to the insane monster leapt with utter grace and control above the youkai and struck them down, landing neatly back to back with a youkai with long silver hair.

Goku leapt into the air again, pin-wheeling Nyoi-bou beneath him and taking out four youkai in one shot. His landing was precarious, though, and he had to bend backwards and catch himself to stay balanced, his back arched. His companion, never pausing in the movements with his halberd eyed him appreciatively, "Damn, Go, hot shit!"

The brunet glared through messy brown locks, "Shut up, Shou-kun."

"What?" the pale youkai smirked, "We both know just how useful that flexibility is..."

Nyoi-bou paused in its assault to bop the elder youkai over the head, "Not interested, sorry."

A dramatic sigh was his reply, "I _know_...six months you've been holding out on me...I'm having withdrawals here!"

Goku laughed as he took out another youkai; these opponents weren't even worth his full attention, "Shouten, can't you think of anything but sex, you idiot?"

"Of course I can...when it comes to anything but you, Go."

"You perv! Weren't you the one going on about, 'Not like it was love,' this morning?"

"Who's talking about love?" Shouten said with a wicked grin, "This is lust, babe. And since we haven't run across your precious..."

"Don't," Goku interrupted in a vicious voice, "bring him into this."

All the youkai were taken out now, and a quick hand motion sent the soldiers accompanying Goku and Shouten to search out any stragglers. Goku kept a fierce glare on his friend.

Sanzo was seething. Four fucking years and he only sees the idiot by chance? And now he has to sit here and listen to some youkai prattle on about the supposed sexual prowess of _his_ monkey? His jaw clenched as he watched the two interact, Goku surprisingly still not having noticed him in his shadowed hiding spot.

The last years had been...enlightening. He had come to terms with the idea of being _lonely_ without his former charge around, and the fact that no one else seemed to be able to fill the hole left behind by the monkey. It had pissed him off for quite a while once he'd realize he honest to god _missed_ Goku, and couldn't stand anyone else in his company but the saru. The fury currently coursing through him was muted by an abject sense of relief seeing the younger man was well. Not knowing had been nearly painful.

"Woah," Shouten said, holding up his hands defensively, "Sorry Goku, I didn't mean to..."

"Whatever," Goku cut in, running a hand through his hair, "Let's just finish this mission and report back to Kou. I can't take this shit."

Whether it was the idea of his former charge leaving or anger at being ignored, he wasn't really sure, but Sanzo growled venomously and took a step forward from his shadowy hiding place, a firm glare on his face.

Goku whirled around instantly, catlike eyes wide and usually tanned skin paling more by the second, "S-Sanzo!"

The silver-haired demon's ears perked up instantly and intelligent silver eyes raked slowly up and down Sanzo's form, "Oh ho, _this_ is Sanzo? Well, granted, he is rather pretty, Go, but he looks like an angry one..." he was quickly cut off by a calloused hand closing around his throat and looked wide-eyed at his closest friend, "Go...ku?"

"Shut up," Goku hissed. This was the General speaking, the one who was both respected and feared by his enemies and allies alike. Shouten knew not to challenge his former lover when he was like this and gulped.

"S-Sir?" suddenly broke the mounting tension between the two Generals. Goku released his friend and breathed deeply, ignoring both Shouten and Sanzo as he faced the soldier.

"What is it, Ronsu?"

"General, sir, the mission is a success. We found a small dwelling north of here where several higher-ups in the group were hiding out and exterminated them easily. The stragglers have been eradicated and the base burnt. What will you have us do, sir?"

Goku shook his head, "Gather the men and be ready to move out."

"Oi!" Sanzo called, storming towards the strange new version of his monkey, "That's it? Four fucking years and you're just going to walk out of here without an explanation?"

Goku turned, a blank mask in place, making Sanzo have to stifle a gasp. Of all the changes, any ability to hide his emotions was the most shocking change to Sanzo. Guarded golden eyes locked on him, "What explanation is that, Sanzo? You told me to go, and I went. You were right, I was useless...but now, I have a purpose. I am a trusted General to Kougaiji and I've made a name and life for myself there. What do you need explained?"

The blond glared, "You couldn't have fucking written? Visited? Nothing?"

"You made it clear you didn't want me to," the heretic said softly, feline eyes dark.

Sanzo, being himself, made no move to refute this claim.

After a few moments of silent staring, Goku shook his head with a wry chuckle, "You'll never change, will you? I guess...that was one of the things I always loved best about you," and with a swift motion that Sanzo couldn't hope to react to, Goku kissed him. It was chaste and feather light, but it was still a kiss.

But then, Goku was leaving, towing a complaining companion behind him. He walked to where the rest of the unit stood and motioned to the awaiting dragons and moved to mount one himself.

"Wait!" Sanzo called almost desperately, but seemed to notice this as he visibly struggled to replace all his masks and spoke in a low voice, knowing the sensitive ears of his charge would still hear him, "Just...come to Chang'an. Tell me why you never came back. Just for a while?"

Goku froze and felt himself being torn in two directions. His mind told him it was pointless, that Sanzo would never change enough for any good to come of any conversation between them...but his heart just wanted to try.

It was Shouten to helped him to decide, a rare serious expression on his face, "Just go. I know better than anyone but you and Kou how you're feeling right now, and you have to go for it. You can't be happy without risks."

The man had spoken quietly, but Goku wasn't sure if it had been quiet enough to keep Sanzo from hearing. Years of paranoia had tuned Sanzo's senses, especially his hearing, exponentially. Goku closed luminescent eyes and sighed before letting them open again and smiling softly, "Thanks, Shou-kun."

"Of course."

"And tell Kou..."

"Don't worry about it. Kou knew or he wouldn't have sent you."

Goku's smile faded slightly as he turned to his former guardian, but he still tried to keep it in place, "Alright, Sanzo, come with me. I don't want to take an hour's walk back to the temple."

The blond grunted and approached Goku's dragon, his eyes never leaving the younger man's face. Goku gulped. This was going to be a long evening.

--

The ride was spent in uncomfortable silence for the ten minutes they were in the air, and Goku was acutely aware of the blond's intense stare on the back of his head. Goku was thankful when Chang'an came into view and Goku expertly landed the large dragon right in the courtyard. He grinned inwardly as the monks all skittered fearfully away, inwardly relishing in shaking the bastards that had made his life hell as a child.

Sighing silently, Goku grabbed Sanzo around the waist and jumped down; the height was short for him, but he didn't want Sanzo twisting his ankle or some such nonsense. At least, he told himself that was what he would say. In truth, he was just relishing in all the close minutes he could have with the stoic man, since he wasn't sure if he would ever see him again after today.

The scattered monks congregated again in the courtyard upon realizing their superior was a rider of the dragon, all eyeing Goku suspiciously. It took mere moments for most of them to recognize him; no matter the form, bright golden eyes and the golden diadem around his head tended to send off clear bells in their heads. More than one shrank away from his fierce glare.

"Sanzo-sama!" one of the monks called, "Are you well? Do you need anything? Would you like to be escorte--"

"Urusai," Sanzo said, rubbing the bridge of his nose, "Just leave us alone, we'll be in my chambers."

"Why is the hellion back, Sanzo-sama? Surely it was better…" the monk instantly shut up when faced with the hard stares of both violet and gold on him. The others dispersed quickly, and Sanzo waved a hand to Goku.

"I know you remember the way, bakazaru, let's go."

They walked through the labyrinth of hallways within the temple proper, Goku trailing slightly behind his former keeper. He felt so young again walking these halls, and old memories began plaguing him. He didn't want to be stuck in the mindset he had had before his departure though, the mind of a cowering child who hadn't dared to have opinions that contradicted his guardian, or any need to stand up and be an adult. That was the biggest reason he had never come back -- being away from Sanzo had allowed him to grow into his own person who could lead and garner respect rather than just a follower of his sun.

But he watched the familiar golden hair now and his heart swelled. Gods how he had missed him. No matter the harsh words or beatings, he had always loved every moment that he had spent with the severe blond. And it hadn't just been his at the time unknown feelings or the fact that this man was the one to give him a real life - it was that he knew Sanzo better than he knew himself. He knew what the older man meant when he berated him for doing stupid things - he was worried - or threatened him and Gojyo with his gun for arguing - he would be bored if they didn't. He loved everything that Sanzo was, all that he stood for…and he always had.

The less than platonic feelings hadn't begun until at some point during the journey, he thought. If he had to pinpoint a time, he thought it was perhaps when Homura had tried to take him away from Sanzo, and he had believed the monk wouldn't care if he left or not. The pain he had felt then could only be from a breaking heart, he thought.

The door to Sanzo's rooms was there now, and the monk opened it and ushered him inside. Neither took a seat or even spoke, and the silence was pregnant. Sanzo kept watching Goku, his eyes flitting allover his face and body, as if memorizing him. Goku was sure Sanzo was thinking the same thing he was - _this could be the last time_.

Goku cleared his throat finally, "Sanzo…why did you want me to come here? You have questions, right? Ask them."

The blond jolted in surprise and his wandering eyes locked again with wide golden ones, a frown crossing his face, "What the hell was that back there?"

"…Huh?"

"When you were going to just _leave_, you…you…" Sanzo looked terribly uncomfortable, and Goku almost laughed outright.

"Do I need to explain what a kiss is to you, Sanzo?" Goku couldn't help teasing as he tried to suppress a smirk.

The blond glared, "I know what the fuck it is, you little brat, but I want to know why in the hell you did it!"

Goku shrugged, "I figured it would be my only chance, and I took it. But does that really matter? There's a lot more questions you could be asking me."

"Fine," Sanzo said, looking upset that he hadn't gotten a better answer, "Why did you leave?"

"We went over this, Sanzo. You told me to go and I went."

"I _told_ you to go to the kappa, who was less than five minutes away, and I meant it for a couple of days not _four years_!" Sanzo growled out, violet eyes burning.

"And you said it at a time when I was already wondering if I should stay or not."

The blond recoiled visibly from his place a foot or so away from the monkey, "You were already going to go?"

Goku shrugged again, "I don't know…probably. I had no point here, Sanzo, and all I did was give you trouble. I didn't want to keep burdening you…I'm still pretty dumb, but I've gotten a lot smarter than I used to be. I got a chance to really _grow up_, ya know? I don't regret leaving, but I do regret having had to be away from you for so long. I figured you'd rather it that way, though."

"I…I…" Sanzo closed his eyes and set his jaw, obviously steeling himself, "I didn't want you gone."

Goku sucked in a breath and bit his lip, trying to suppress the way his heart leapt at such simple words. It _must_ have been boring without him for Sanzo to reveal anything of his feelings like this. It took near-death, usually, for anything resembling affection to come from the cold man.

Violet eyes opened and took in the shocked and slightly hopeful look in his former charge's eyes, and took a deep breath, "It wasn't the same here without you. Do you know how fucking boring this place is? Trouble or not, at least you gave me something to think about that wasn't a bunch of groveling idiots."

Goku shook his head, "But I couldn't have stayed, Sanzo. I needed time away…away from you especially to find out what I wanted, who I really was when we weren't fighting for our lives. And I found it."

"And you are?"

"I am a General. The youngest of Kougaiji's five generals, and trusted totally. My men are loyal and good fighters under my command, and when I'm around them…I lead. I never got a chance to even think about leading with you because that was _your_ place. Kou is the one who showed me it could be mine, too. I'm not all that smart, but I can learn…I can have friends and conversations that don't include 'stupid kappa', and I can think of things that aren't food…most of the time," the young man grabbed his stomach forlornly, "But I still get so hungry sometimes."

Sanzo shook his head.

Goku sighed and walked to the window, his back to Sanzo now, "I learned a lot of things while I was gone. I can look like this now, and be really strong, and not be afraid of what I'll do. Trusting myself…it's really, really nice. I never did, really, on the journey. I was so scared I would lose myself and hurt Hakkai or Gojyo…or you."

"So that's it?" Sanzo said, walking to stand beside the younger man, "You're happy away? Away from me?"

"I…I guess so. I really like my life now, with Kou and Shouten around to talk to and my men to goof off with. I have a reason to be there, a purpose. I never had that here. But…" he paused now and closed his eyes, shaking slightly before continuing in a whisper, "It's not because I'm away from you…that's the only thing I miss, really. You."

Sanzo feigned nonchalance and shrugged one shoulder, "You don't seem to. Four years, saru. Four _fucking_ years. And you seemed rather preoccupied with that silver-haired bastard…I doubt you even remembered me until today," he sneered, though more to himself than to Goku.

Goku nearly choked and looked incredulously at the man, "You think I forgot about you for even a second? For the last four years I thought about you all the time! Every time I had a hard time on a mission, or things got stressful…I wondered if you would let me come home. If I was anywhere within a couple hundred kilometers of Chang'an I had to fight not to come running back here! Hell, the whole reason me and Shouten broke up was because I couldn't stop thinking about _you_, damnit, so don't you dare tell me I didn't think about you!" he ranted, glaring at his former guardian.

Sanzo just stood silently, soaking in all the younger man's words. He slowly turned to face the raging monkey and raised an eyebrow, "Then why didn't you come back?"

Furious golden eyes narrowed up at him, "Because I knew I would go and do something stupid - like this!" and Goku unceremoniously grabbed the monk and crushed their mouths together.

Sanzo blinked several times before becoming agitated at the command the simian was showing, so he grabbed the young man by the sides of his head and took control of the kiss. Goku just melted instantly as the older man responded, his entire body sagging in surprise and his arms tightening to keep his balance. There was no urgency or rush to the kiss, and Goku relished in every moment he tasted the older man, still unsure if it would ever happen again. As the slow kiss came to an end, Goku rested his forehead against Sanzo's for just a moment and sighed quietly as he stepped back.

"I need to go, so I can get back before it gets dark."

Sanzo shifted his weight, cutting his eyes to the side, "You won't stay?"

"Right now, or permanently?"

"Both."

Goku smiled sadly, "I wont stay permanently…I can't. I have responsibilities there…but I won't stay away again. If…if you want me to, I'll visit. As for now…"

Both stared again, and Sanzo raised a hand to tangle in the hair at the base of Goku's neck, yanking the younger back flush against him, "Stay."

A shiver wracked Goku's body, "Alright, then."

--

The next morning, Sanzo was awoken by a loud pounding on his door. He groaned and covered his eyes, trying to block the reality of the morning. He heard a chuckle beside his ear and warm lips touched his for a moment, "Wakey-wakey, Sanzo-sama. I think the monks are going to have a heart attack."

Sanzo smirked and peeked one violet eye from beneath his arm, "You answer it."

Goku laughed and jumped up, snatching a small blanket from the end of the bed to wrap his nude lower half in and walking to the door. He tossed it open unceremoniously and was met by five gawking faces.

Two monks looked the most shocked to find a mostly nude man, the man being the previous bane of their existence, opening their superior's door, their jaws unhinged and looking ready to faint. Gojyo and Hakkai, behind them, had immediately set themselves into defensive positions as the took in seemingly Seiten Taisei before them, not yet having taken in his state of undress. Shouten, to their right, was smirking, but was still looking slightly surprised that the night had gone so well for his friend.

Goku rolled his eyes and turned his head, "Sanzo, we've got gawkers."

The blond sat up in the bed, the sheet pooling around his waist, exposing his own nudity and violet glare in place, "Fucking idiots, what do you want?!"

One of the monks was shaking but managed to stutter out, "These men, they insisted they see you and forced their way past us…"

Shouten scoffed, "We walked into the temple and ignored you yelling, there was no forcing. Anyway, Go, just wanted to check on you…Kou needs to know if you're coming back or not."

Goku nodded, "Of course I am, I wouldn't abandon my men. Just…give me a bit, ey?"

Shouten leered, "I can see you had a good night. Damnit all, now I _know_ I won't be able to get you into bed again."

"Damn right!" Sanzo called from where he was lighting a cigarette. Goku turned red.

Hakkai smiled serenely as he finally recovered himself, "It has been a while, Goku. You are well, then?"

"Can…uh…we save this conversation for after I'm dressed?" Goku asked, shifting on his feet and his blush spreading to his chest.

Gojyo guffawed and opened his mouth to comment but Sanzo stood them, not bothering to cover himself and making all the men flinch. Shouten whistled appreciatively, "Alright, I concede defeat, Go. I see what you were on about…"

Goku glared and Sanzo advanced on the door, "Out. All of you. Now. We'll be out in…" he paused and glanced at his blushing charge, "An hour. Bye," and he slammed the door in their faces.

"An hour?" Goku finally managed, smiling slightly at the blond.

"Hmph," Sanzo intoned, a slight tilt to his own lips, "If you're going to be leaving, I'd better give you incentive to come back."

It was closer to two hours when they emerged, in the end.

----------

A/N: Leaving it open for a sequel or a side story. There was no love confession, (NO LEMON?! I'm aghast at myself…I mean, come on, fangs and claws and Seiten Taisei IS sex, damnit all…. drool Sorry XD), and Goku is still leaving and will be going back and forth between his work and Sanzo….so, I'll probably write a follow up to this.


End file.
